SPACEY 2007 PREDICTIONS

Vice President Dick Cheney in his US humvee

In this edition of Professor Jacobi's Amazing Realms, Mohammed Mahoney comments on photographs that not only promise to answer questions which have long baffled archaeologists but which also validate important scientific findings.

Also included, the annual New Year Psychic Predictions for 2007 as issued by Miami seer Herschel Gomez.

Peruvian UFO’s may validate Inca Theory

Further examination of a snapshot taken in the Andes last year by an Australian tourist could be the clearest evidence yet validating one of the central tenets of the Extrapolated ITIC findings published a decade ago by my good friend and noted Irish-Iraqi sensitive Mohammed Mahoney. What appears to be a fast-moving metallic object moving between the Andean peaks near the fabled Macchu-Pichu “Lost City” of the Incas could be, says Mahoney, photographic proof that present-day Incas, like their Pre-Columbian forebears, had extraterrestrial help in constructing their cities.



UFO at Macchu-Pichu, Peru


Archaeologists have long speculated how Meso-and South American societies, which did not use the wheel, could have transported immense blocks of solid stone from distant quarries. Mahoney also hastens to point out another photograph taken in broad daylight earlier this year at the Mayan pyramid of Chichen-Itza by a Puerto Rican visitor. The Yucatan object is either some sort of bifurcated UFO, a humungous butterfly or possibly a slice of apple hurled about 50 metres from the camera.

UFO (or butterfly) at Yucatan pyramid

Mahoney, a freelance researcher who investigates the paranormal during off hours from his urology practice in Hollywood, CA, suggests that he may mount his own Macchu-Pichu expedition in early 2007 to seek additional UFO-related evidence on the matter.


Michael, Liz & related Psychic Prognoses

Our good friend and noted Miami seer Herschel Gomez has issued his annual New Year Psychic Predictions for 2007. For the record, his tally of hits and misses over the past twenty-five years is slightly better than the late Jean Dixon’s and 30 times more accurate than Mme. Shanti Dombrowski of Orlando, who in 1985 confidently predicted that a disoriented Loch Ness monster would finally be netted in the Thames Estuary of all places and, astonishingly, disgorge a perfectly preserved (albeit deceased) Amelia Earheart, two HMS Titanic life-preservers and Eva Braun’s gold souvenir cigarette lighter from the 1936 maiden flight of the Luftschiffbau Zeppelin Hindenburg. Dombrowski claimed a partial hit with the discovery of the entire Titanic wreck later that year.


Herewith highlights from the Gomez 2007 crystal ball:

• By late next summer ex-New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani’s prospects for the 2008 Presidential nomination will be further reduced when it is revealed that, in addition to being a divorced Roman Catholic, previously sealed court documents identify him as the unnamed “other primate” who figured in the infamous 1992 break-up of singer Michael Jackson and one-time housemate Bubbles the Chimpanzee.


Michael and Bubbles in happier times


• Recently disgraced Evangelist Ted Haggard will return to the news when a “Rehabilitation Retreat” with several young pastoral colleagues at a remote Colorado Springs park is disrupted by someone or something resembling Big Foot who drags the hysterical Haggard into the forest. Following months of fruitless searches for the missing preacher, a bearded and remarkably unscathed Haggard will emerge from the woods to found a new doctrine based on claimed visions during the ordeal, The Gospel of St. Susquatch.

• On the eve of her 75th birthday, Elizabeth Taylor, will finally admit that the aforementioned Michael Jackson is indeed her own love child by onetime heavyweight champ Sonny Liston (and subsequently adopted by the Jackson family to spare Liz further grief with then-hubby Eddie Fisher.) Following this disclosure, Michael will fly to the Pepe Cortada Clinic in Chichihuenango, Guatemala before Easter for one last surgical procedure in a tortured son’s lifelong attempt to more closely resemble his natural mother.

• Britney Spears will meet and fall wildly in love with Fort Lauderdale tax attorney Fu-Tze (Footsie) Feldman, the Chinese-Jewish heir to the Fong-Wam-Bang Electronics empire based in Hong Kong. In the fall the couple will be making plans for a honeymoon in Kuala Lumpur at the home of uncle Chuk Wam-Bang. And by Christmas, the company’s Mandarin-singing Beijing Britney doll will be a toy world mega-hit in the Far East.

• A devastating spring earthquake will level much of Euro-Disney World but the ruins will prove much more popular (especially the Hall of Headless Presidents) among French visitors and the park will actually turn a third-quarter profit.

• In May, look for the FBI to investigate a series of ghastly but surgically precise cattle mutilations in and around Crawford, Texas. The president blames al-Qa'ida terrorists but the culprits are never found.

Bush and the possibly doomed Pooch

• Finally, Barney the White House Scottish Terrier will meet an untimely end when his kennel is inadvertently misrouted at Andrews Air Force Base aboard an Iraq-bound military transport. Before the mistake is discovered, the First Pooch will fall into the hands of jihadists who threaten an on-camera canine execution if US troops are not withdrawn. After worldwide outcry and appeals from the pope and Islamic leaders, the terrier is released unharmed but is accidentally run over by a US humvee driven by Vice President Dick Cheney who was dispatched to Baghdad to bring the heroic hostage home.


Professor Kurt Stanislaw Jacobi, a native of Southeastern Wallachia, holds a Ph.D. in psychotropic engineering from Comenius University, Bratislava, where he graduated summa cum laude in 1948. During the late 50's, Dr. Jacobi was a visiting scholar on the faculty of CCNY where he first postulated his now famous integrated theory of inversional constructs (ITIC) which ultimately made possible the Apollo moon landings, the Camp David Peace Accords and the release of all Tennessee Ernie Ford’s love songs on mp3 compatible compact disc.