Kurt Stanislaw Jacobi: One time East Bloc Wunderkind, White House Confidante

FORT LAUDERDALE - World-renowned biophysical theoretician and author Professor Kurt S. Jacobi, now living in semi-retirement in Broward County, FL has agreed to share with internet audiences the mounting evidence clearly validating the impact of his life's work in fields as varied as psychosomatic narcosis and lawn maintenance.



Jacobi’s own personal saga is no less astonishing than his singular postulate…doctrines so original that, at first, he had been dismissed by academic rivals and political enemies as a raving lunatic or deluded charlatan. This was perhaps to be expected given his odd lineage, descended from a 14th Century Grand Rabbi of Buda on his father’s side and a distant but direct descendant of Christian Wallachian warlord Vlad Tepes on his mother’s side. The Jacobi children were obliged to spend most of World War Two in hiding from the Nazis who had overrun their familial homelands.

After the war, it was the precocious 13-year-old Jacobi who caused a commotion in East European academia by predicting at his own 1948 bar mitzvah the future development of an integrated theory of inversional constructs (ITIC), something Albert Einstein never considered possible. Thirty-six hours earlier Jacobi had received his doctorate from Comenius University, Bratislava, the first doctorate ever accorded to an individual under 20.


Rockefeller responds to demonstrators in 1976

Escaping the sweep of communism across Eastern Europe, Dr. Jacobi and his twin sister, Chava, made it to Vienna and then emigrated to the U.S. in 1949. Until his death four years later, Josef Stalin regularly berated the KGB for allowing what he termed the “плохой мальчик от Bratislava” (brat from Bratislava) to slip away from the Soviet bloc (and its nascent nuclear program) to the West. Within three years the Jacobi twins made a fortune in New York hotel laundry contracts and pharmaceutical patents. A self-made millionaire at 19, Jacobi became a significant contributor to the New York State Republican Party in the 1950's and subsequently served as science advisor to Governor Nelson Rockefeller and much later Mayor John Lindsay in the 1970s. Dr. Jacobi, a decade before anyone else, correctly foresaw that inadequate parking - rather than rampant crime - would force the Big Apple into decline and eventual ruin.

It was right after a particularly jarring ride on the Cyclone roller coaster at Coney Island in May 1954 when a dizzy but inspired young physicist jotted down - on a Nathan's hot dog napkin - the key fundamental equation underpinning his eventual 17-volume exposition of the ITIC. Dying in his sleep five days after receiving a first draft of the work via UPS at his home in Princeton, NJ on April 13th 1955, Einstein passed without ever commenting on the most extraordinary theory in modern physics since his own.

Above: Albert Einstein writes a note to himself just before his death in 1955

Stephen Hawking

Stephen J. Hawking had just missed setting a June 1963 school record in the javelin toss at Oxford when he retreated to his study to spend a weekend with the 1578-page Cliff’s Notes version of the ITIC syllabus. Colleagues found him four days later struggling to get up from the floor.

Though primarily known as of man of science, Jacobi never quite evaded the in-bred musical passions of his Danube area forebears. He is an accomplished classical composer and pioneer in electronic music. His 1956 four-hour-long Etude for Lute, Eniac and Ocarina remained a milestone of innovation for years afterward following a one-time performance at the
Julliard Recital Hall.

Richard Nixon
In early 1968, Dr. Jacobi suggested a "secret plan" to end the war in Vietnam to his old friend and New York condo neighbor, Richard Nixon, this plan enabled the former vice president to win the fall election without ever having to divulge the source or specifics of the scheme. Today, Jacobi admits his novel scheme involved planting a chemically altered soy sauce that would have caused Ho Chi Minh's trademark wispy beard to turn day-glo orange before falling out completely. Uncle Ho passed away before the plot could be put in motion and Nixon opted for mining Haiphong harbor instead.

Above: Ho Chi Minh

Ronald and Nancy Reagan

After several years as a research consultant to NASA and the FBI on paranormal phenomena during the Nixon and Reagan administrations (he was called in when Nancy's own White House astrologer was unavailable), Jacobi moved to Florida in the 1980's and has continued to pursue his research into the connection between abnormally elevated serum cholesterol levels and genetic predisposition to Rapture prophesies and “slasher” flicks. He has repeatedly dismissed speculation that his relocation was aimed at working near the western extremity of the Bermuda Triangle. Jacobi’s 1987 autobiography, All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kiskunfelegyhaza, made the NYT (North Yugoslavia Tribune)
bestseller list for three consecutive weeks.

The 71-year-old Dr. Jacobi and his third wife, the former Kaneesha Shabaaz Washington (Miss FAMU 1975), now live in Fort Lauderdale with two of their four grown sons, Malik, Malcolm, Martin and Moishe.